Nothing’s going on…

So, my new foray into foster-to-adoption land has lead me to realize that time moves at a very different rate in this situation than in others. 

We had our final home study visit on March 17.  We were told it’d take 4-6 weeks for all the stuff to be finalized, then we’d be officially done with the paperwork.

The family and friends that know about the adoption spend a good bit of time asking me “How’s the adoption going?”  Most of the time, my answer is “Fine, I suppose.  Nothing’s going on right at this moment.”  I guess people are used to pregnancy… when a woman finds out she’s pregnant, life becomes a flurry of “next up is …” and markers that have meaning (trimesters and such).  

For adoptive moms, we don’t really have those, so people, including me, don’t know what to say.  How do you explain that someone, somewhere, is writing up a document about your ability to parent?  Then, that document will be put into a computer somewhere and then some child(ren)’s similar document will be matched by a computer or a counselor, and THEN something will actually happen.

Until then, nothing’s going on.

In other news, one of my friends from Fer.tility Frie.nd (I used to be on there, but it made me sad.  Literally, EVERYONE ELSE was getting pregnant), is going through her first IVF.  She just went through retrieval and now I’m really hoping her embryos are growing and multiplying.  She’s been on this boat for 4 years now… let’s hope she finally gets to shore!


8 thoughts on “Nothing’s going on…

  1. Those questions are always hard to answer. Time does move differently in foster care, much slower. But, if you can, I’d suggest checking in with your contact person at least once a month…just to remind them that you are there.

    My fingers are crossed for your friend…and for you.

    • Thank you so much. I took your advice and wrote my counselor a friendly check in today. I hope to hear from her soon.

      You’re in the waiting game too, aren’t you! Fingers crossed for you too.

  2. It’s hard when you have no tangible evidence of progress, but things are happening. Somewhere, your child might already be waiting for you. In the meantime, sending big hugs to you and your friend.

  3. I think that in particular with Foster/Adopt these questions can be harder to answer than for others. You just don’t know. From the time that we were officially licensed until we got the call for Mea it was almost two years. We had a month to get ready for a 13 month old. Once the time comes, things fly, and everyone who has been asking those questions (for us, anyway) stepped quickly up to the plate to help out.

    • Thanks for commenting. It’s always so good to hear from someone who has been through this. I’m sure we’ll get lots of help when the time comes… and I am also certain that I’ll be worried about having not enough time and too much going on soon.

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