First, I’d like to say that I’m thinking of all of you who have been affected by infant loss today since it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have never seen a positive on a pregnancy test, but with each of my IVFs, when I knew that I had potential babies inside of me, the negative tests felt like a loss to me. I feel so sad for all of us who have had to deal with that loss in any form. The only comfort I find is in finding ways to make the world around me just a bit brighter when I can. I hope that you all will find a way to seek and offer comfort today.
Now for the miniature rant:
Okay, so to adopt through the state, you have to become licensed as a foster parent first. I don’t know why. But, you do. Part of that licensing includes going to this class that supposed to teach you about the realities of fostering and adopting through foster care.
It turned out to be, instead, a parenting class. Except that it was an example of exactly the kind of parent I don’t want to be. I can’t go into all the wacky things that were said, but it was over-the-top religious themed (lots of God touching hearts and praying back and forth and God talking to people). I don’t mind religion, per se, but I do mind when it covers for real, honest discussion and language. The homophobia was palpable, which was ironic because there were two women (not together) in the class who seemed pretty clearly to be lesbians. The sexism was awful — sometimes I have no idea how men make it through a day, since, according to some members of this group, the men wouldn’t even be capable of picking up the adoptive baby. And, much of the advice was just completely backwards from the way that I think. I can’t imagine parenting the way that these people were talking about parenting (over half the class already has children).
All in all, I guess I left with some information, and so, so much heartbreak. What kind of world is it that we live in where people can be so damned awful to their children? If this all works out, I’m really struggling with explaining that.