How To Survive Mother’s Day After 2 Failed IVFs

So, it’s almost over.  My first Mother’s Day after 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs and 3 years of failing to have a baby and a big decision to stop seeking all ART.  I made it through the day and was pretty happy for  most of the day!  How did I do that?  Well it was 3 big things:

  • Stay busy.  Like BUSY, busy.
  • Stay focused on other people.  If you’re focused on being good and kind to other people, then it’s hard to feel sad and mad at yourself.
  • Watch Out of the Wild shows from National Geographic for a week before.  When you’ve watched people be happy to find a rotten palm tree fruit and find the worms to be a bonus, well it helps you remember to focus on the good stuff in life, instead of the awful.

By the “you” in those sentences, I mean “I” of course.  It’s been a good day to remember that I can be happy, with or without children.  It’s important to remember there are plenty of people with children who are miserable.

Now, I’m watching episodes of Glee and GCB and other ridiculously silly TV shows.

For everyone who’s reading, you are a mother, even if no one is calling you that.  Motherhood doesn’t start when the baby cries, it starts way before that… and this is part of it.


9 thoughts on “How To Survive Mother’s Day After 2 Failed IVFs

  1. me and my two IF friends used to celebrate mothers day even though none of us had children. This was the first year we didn’t do it together: one got divorced and isn’t ttc, one went underground with her ttc, and I am a mom now… well, it’s probably hard for them to be around me on mothers day 😦

    regardless – i agree with you, if you wanna become a mother, you are a mother,even if you don’t have a baby yet.


  2. I love your suggestion to stay focused on other people. It’s so easy to get sucked into our own misery when it’s all we think about. I’m glad you figured out how to survive what can be a very difficult day.

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