I think I’m supposed to try to think of a way to see something good in this. But I can’t. I’m not pregnant. I did every single thing that anyone told me to do that might help. Nothing worked. 3 embryos are gone because they were put inside of my toxic body.
I’m so angry. I’m angry at my body. I’m angry at the medical community for not knowing more to help me. I’m angry at the insurance company for making a limit of 15,000 dollars for help getting pregnant, when they’ll pay for other people’s bad decisions , like driving recklessly and getting hurt in a car accident, up to millions of dollars but they won’t pay for me to have a baby. I’m mad at my husband for being at work and not responding to my message. How can work be more important than this (to give him credit..I only wrote 10 minutes ago).
I’m just angry and I’m so, so sad. This is such an emotional mind fuck. Now, I just wait for days and days for an awful period, if it’s like the last failed IVF period, and then what? Sign up for another go? It’s so expensive. Think about adoption? I don’t even know how to make that switch over. Just give up? Just give up on it ever working out? How bad is it when just giving up seems the only option. This bad apparently.