My NIAW Bust a Myth Post

Since I’ve started trying to get pregnant, I myself have found out that many a myth was exactly what the dictionary says it is: a story that someone just makes up, that has no real basis in reality.

When I started out, I thought, “my mom had three kids.  The last was a surprise.  I’ll have no problem.” No baby.

When it took a little longer, I thought it was because I have a cup of coffee in the morning.  I cut out all caffeine for 3 months.  No baby.

Hmm, what else?  I’ve tried Vitamin B.  Soy Isoflavones.  Pretending I wasn’t trying.  Sexing up my man.  Not telling him that this was the time.  Soaking my feet.  Avoiding all diet products.  Only drinking diet products.  Drinking grapefruit juice.  Taking my temperature every day and peeing on sticks for MONTHS (long after I’d used those tools to confirm ovulation and get to know my body).

No baby.

So, what myth am I busting?  I’m busting the myth that not getting pregnant has anything to do with minute lifestyle changes.  We can all just quit beating ourselves up for having a coca cola, or a diet coke, or not liking grapefruits.  Those things don’t get us pregnant.  They’re just things that women make up to try to help themselves feel like they have control over a situation that we don’t, really, in the end, control.  And, it’s so, so hard to let go of that myth.  I wish with every part of me that all I needed was some foot soaking and dose of Geritol to get pregnant.   That, I could do.  Hell, I’d soak my feet, while eating grapefruit sprinkled with Geritol, Soy-Isoflavones, and Vitex, after/before having timed/”spontaneous” sex with my husband who did/didn’t know that I was ovulating, all with an OPK sitting beside me,a thermometer in my vag, and an hourly charting of my cervical mucous… if that would make this happen because I finally did it “right.”

So, the myth that us ladies aren’t doing the “right” things — busted.  As  Jay says over at The Two Week Wait, we need to let ourselves off the hook.

Go learn more about NIAW here:

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

http://www.resolve.org/takecharge.

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4 thoughts on “My NIAW Bust a Myth Post

  1. Oh no, you’re wrong about the grapefruit. You really wont get pregnant if you dont have one every day. 😉 Now I think I’ll go have a cup of coffee…because I can.

    • haha! It’s amazing that people in other countries without as much access to shipped in fruit get pregnant in the winter. They must keep the grapefruit good with magic. 🙂

  2. I love the thermometer in your vag idea! Hehehe! I’ve tried everything I could afford at the time, including $5,000 to have a physical therapist put HER thermometer / hands in my vag to “try and manipulate and remove the scar tissue” blocking my falopian tubes!
    I’m 49 years old now, and my husband still doesn’t get it why it hurts me to listen to my new daughter in law and his assistant discussing their pregnancies and child birth. It’s a girls club that I’ve never been a member of, and I never will. How do you describe to someone the pain that is real and somehow never goes away? I’ve tried denial, wishing, dutifully stating how grateful I am for my stepsons and nieces and nephews……(I am grateful for them, BTW). It’s nice to see that perhaps I can finally be a part of a different kind of girls club. Also, I think you are so right on when you say that the diet soda etc. you had is not or ever the cause for infertility…..my mother was pregnant 9 times in 10 years….with 7 live births. So, thanks for sharing your stories with me, you are a wonderful and very special girl!

    • Thanks for your sweet comment! I have no idea how to deal with the pain of not being in the club… but somehow reading and writing and getting to know other people who understand, helps.

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