Cycle 20, CD 4, Day 2 of Clomid

So far, Clomid is treating me fine.  I don’t think I’m having any side effects… but then again I’ve only taken 1 pill.

Emotionally, though, I think I’m waging a battle inside of myself.  I keep thinking that there’s no reason to really get my hopes up this time, since it’s not like this time is that much different than any other time.  But, then, I read some story or think about the science of what I’m doing and think that, of course, this will work.  How could it not?  He has sperms that swim.  I have an ovary that seems to make eggs.  They are helping me make even more eggs, and they’re going to make sure that I have a uterine lining ready to support a little bean.  That sounds like a good plan, right?  Right?

But even when people get already fertilized embryos put right inside their uterus, sometimes that doesn’t work.   Why not?  Why on the 3rd time but not the 2nd?  Why on the 1st time for one person and never for the next?

It’s just all so perplexing.  I just can’t make sense of it all right now.  I know I’m supposed to “Think Positive” and “Just Relax.”  Yes, yes, that’s what I’m doing 23. 75 hours of the day.  Right now, I’m taking 15 minutes to just let myself be completely bewildered by how all of this works out (or doesn’t) for us.

In other news, I figured out how to add a blog roll.  Look at me blogging, Mom!  Look at me!

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One thought on “Cycle 20, CD 4, Day 2 of Clomid

  1. lol, Glad you figured out the blogroll. I was pretty proud each time I figured out something new too. Of course I still dont have it too well figured.

    I have a love/ hate relationship with my uterus and I’m still trying to figure out why it’s not showing me the love that I’ve always tried to give it. I’ll never understand the “logic” of why this work or dont work. I’m with you on the bewildered front.

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