Cycle 18, CD 19, 7 DPO, Not spotting yet today

So last night, I was totally convinced that I have a ruptured cyst on my left ovary — all the cramping and pain and spotting and miniature blood clots seem to point to SOMETHING BEING WRONG.  My DH and my mom both thought I should rush right to the phone (yes, it was sitting right beside me or I was currently talking on it, but I’m dramatizing for effect) to call the doctor on call to get some help.

Thankfully, TTC has not made me forget to not be crazy, at least some of the time.  I know that for ruptured cysts, unless the blood is gushing or the pain is unbearable, they don’t do much.  I took some Advil and went to bed.

Today, I woke up feeling fine, have no cramping and have no spotting.  I hope that’s the end of the great cramping/spotting/bleeding mid-cycle drama in my life.  I wonder, is trying to have a baby really this much hell on my body?  If I weren’t TTC, would all this still happen and I just wouldn’t notice?  Maybe so.  I’m certain I had weird stuff happen earlier in my life that I just completely ignored.

Oh, and of course, I’ve had the ghost thought run through my head that maybe it was implantation spotting!  It’s right on time!  I even have CRAMPING!  I see all these women on FF talk about how they were cramping and then BOOM a positive pregnancy test!  Maybe that will be me!  A 100% positive sign of PREGNANCY!  In the month of my HSG, no less!  Those darn proverbial uterine cobwebs and all that.

Then, I remember:  blocked tube.  possible killer cells from my immune system attacking said embryos before any implantation. subfertile sperm count.  short periods + short cycles possible indicating hormonal imbalance of some sort.  age 33.

Ah, yes, well, at least the spotting has stopped for now, and for that, I thank you, uterus.

ETA:  Later, after this posting, the spotting re-appeared — this time as the initial stages of my period.  I’m calling it and putting down today (Feb. 14) as CD 1 on Cycle 19.  I can’t resist making terrible puns, so here’s a song from Bloody Valentine:

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