Cycle 11, Day 1

Well, it’s the first day of the 11th cycle that we’ve been trying to make a baby.  I was thinking about this phrase on the way home — make a baby.  When I think about my future and our children, I have a hard time envisioning the baby part.  I’m always imagining a 4 year old, a teenager, and sometimes even older.  The baby part doesn’t really figure into my imagination much, except when I’m thinking of what we need to do once things actually get going.  I don’t know why.  I think maybe I don’t let myself think about the baby since I can’t seem to make one so far.

If I get pregnant this month, the baby will be due Mid-May.  My sister was born in May.  Maybe I’m like my mom and have to have my first child in May.

I am not as sad this month as I have been in the past, but that’s not saying much because I am pretty sad.

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