I spent most of my adult, thoughtful life thinking that I’d never have children of my own. I have had psoriasis since I was 5 years old and about the time I was due to graduate high school, I developed psoriatic arthritis. Since I’d been taking methotrexate (yes, the same drug that induces abortion at the right dose) on and off since I was 12, I just figured that kids weren’t really going to be part of my life.
In some ways, I was fine with that. I wasn’t that interested anyway. That started to change when I was in my mid-20s. I was going through a rough time in the relationship department, so again the not-having-kids idea didn’t weigh on my mind too much.
Then I met my sweet, dear husband. I love him. But he has two kids already and thought that he didn’t want anymore. Then, my brother and his wife had a beautiful, sweet, psoriasis free little girl. And, now, here I am. Age 33, 18 years after I can first remember thinking that I wouldn’t ever have kids, wishing desperately to see 2 pink lines show up on a HPT.